You asked for help with one basic chore: take the trash out. A little while later you realize your partner failed to do it. When you ask why they didn’t do it, your partner replies “I never heard you ask me”. Why aren’t you surprised that your partner failed to hear the one thing they wanted done? This “selective hearing” is a common sign that communication is failing.
We tend to think of selective hearing as a negative, sort of like it’s a character defect. Accusing someone of selective hearing is implying they weren’t listening to you. But it’s possible that the actual culprit behind your selective hearing may not be a short attention span, it may be the early phases of hearing loss.
Selective hearing – what is it?
You’ve probably been accused of selective hearing at some time in your life, even if nobody used that specific term. When you miss all the things you don’t want to hear but hear everything else, that’s selective hearing. You hear the bit about the chocolate cake, but you miss the part about the calories. That sort of thing.
As a behavior, selective hearing is very common. But this behavior is more common in men than women, according to some studies.
How individuals are socialized does offer some context and it may be tempting to make some assumptions from this. But hearing health is most likely another major factor. Let’s say your “selective hearing” begins to become more prevalent or more common. That could actually be an early indication of hearing loss.
Communication can be impacted by hearing loss
Undiagnosed hearing loss can definitely make communication a lot more challenging. You’re probably not surprised by that.
But one prominent sign of hearing loss is communication problems.
Symptoms can be really difficult to notice when hearing loss is in the early stages. Maybe you begin cranking the volume on your tv up. When go out to your local haunt, you have a hard time hearing what people are saying. It’s probably because the music is so loud, right? But besides scenarios like that, you might never even notice how loud everyday sounds can be. This allows your hearing to slowly (but surely) decline. Up to the time you’re having problems following daily conversations, you almost don’t notice.
Your hearing health is concerning your partner
The people around you will probably be concerned. Your friends and family will most likely be annoyed when they think you’re purposely ignoring what they say. But that aggravation often becomes concern when they recognize that hearing loss may be the real culprit.
And your partner may want you to find out what’s going on by having you schedule a hearing test.
It’s important to listen to your partner’s concerns. Have an open conversation and consider that they have a caring attitude and not just aggravation.
Early hearing loss has a few other signs
If your selective hearing has become worse over time, it might be worth keeping an eye out for some of these other early signs of hearing loss. Some of those signs include:
- Consonants are hard to make out
- Cranking the volume up on your mobile phone, television, or radio
- When people talk it sounds distant or muffled
- Hearing in crowds is challenging
- Needing to ask others to speak up or slow down
You should contact us for a hearing test if you have any of these symptoms.
Always protect your hearing
Safeguarding your hearing is so critical to preventing hearing loss. Minimize your exposure to loud settings (or at least wear earmuffs or earplugs when you must be around noise). Any feathers that you may have ruffled with your selective hearing can be smoothed over by using hearing aids to communicate more effectively.
In most situations throughout your life, selective hearing will be an artifact of a diminishing attention span. But when you (or somebody around you) observes your selective hearing becoming worse, you may want to take that as a sign that it’s time to have your hearing tested.
